taking the time
Welcome, friends, to what I'd like to think of as my first true blog post! Now that introductions and explanations are through, I'm so excited to dive into different topics that get me feeling all excited inside...like when a toddler sees an ice cream cone. Or, like when I see an ice cream cone. Same reaction.
The topic I chose for today seemed almost to choose itself, as Bobby and I are on a mini stay-cation of sorts. We find ourselves this morning relaxing in the home of a dear friend, who we affectionately call Ms. Maureen. She's a lovely, generous, warm, feisty woman and hostess...basically, the kind of woman I'd like to be when I'm all grown up. She's become a surrogate grandmother to us here in Lynchburg, and frequently welcomes us with open arms to stay in her home and indulge in her good company, be it for a few hours or a few days. This weekend, we're lucky enough to be spending two nights with her, and I've honestly been looking forward to it for weeks. She lives with her son and daughter-in-law in the coziest and most perfect mother-in-law suite...it's surrounded by a forest of gorgeous trees and flowers, with songbirds calling from every corner and bumble bees lazily buzzing in and out of view. It's the most tranquil, calming place for me, and so it seemed a logical place to be writing on the topic of something that's near and dear to me -- taking the time.
It's no secret or surprise that we're living in the age of "more." Doing more, seeing more, achieving more, buying more...it's an age inundated, in many ways, with pressure and excess. As I've grown a little older, I've noticed that there seem to be two kinds of people: those who are disciplined, and those who are indulgent. And there is no question in my mind that I fall into the indulgent category, often to a fault. I'm often hard on myself for not being more disciplined and internally motivated in many areas of my life, and I'm in a season of working hard in a healthy way to exercise and strengthen that quality in myself. So I have to make it clear that by no means am I trying to say that hard work is a bad thing. Hard work is important, fruitful, beneficial, character-building, and completely necessary. Especially as you enter the seasons of marriage and raising a family, it seems like there is truly no way to make sure everyone is fed, happy, healthy, and well-rounded other than by some days, quite literally, racing from dawn until dusk. Even the Scriptures tell us that diligence and working hard are qualities and habits to be praised. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."
But God also makes it abundantly clear that toil and striving are in vain if we don't intentionally and willfully take the time to rest, reflect, and give thanks. For me, there is nothing more amazing than a Saturday morning with nowhere to go. You wake up to the sun peeking through the curtains, you take your time getting up and out of bed, you greet the day with something warm to drink, and indulge in a good book, or conversation, or maybe you just snuggle right back up under the covers for a little while longer. The physical actions of resting and relaxing are so important, but maybe even more key is the mental state of laying aside anxieties and obligations, duties and worries. And taking a deep breath, and allowing yourself to just be. To settle, to refocus, to rejuvenate, to rehabilitate your mind. Our bodies and our minds bear the scars of what habitual rushing and striving does to us. They are worn out, broken down, and in desperate need of intentional recuperation.
I keep using the word intentional here, because truly resting is, for many people, a discipline in and of itself. I've heard many men and women say, "That sounds wonderful, Ally, but I don't know how to be still. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't busy with something." To be honest, I don't think that's true. I really believe that for people who are discipline-oriented, it's not a matter of not being able to stop, so much as it's a matter of never having given yourself permission to stop. I am more guilty than anyone of allowing the comparison monster to infiltrate my life and rob me of joy. For many, the idea of a day off, a sabbath set aside to rest, a break from the hustle and bustle, would mean that they are falling behind in the imaginary competition we all participate in. They're afraid they may be judged or labeled as lazy, incapable, "not enough." We want to impress others, and maybe ourselves too, with how busy we can be. How many activities we've signed up for, how many trips we've taken, how many pilates classes we've sweated through, how many field trips we've volunteered to chaperone, how many home-cooked gourmet meals we've slaved over, how many deals we've been able to close, how many ministries we've committed to lead, how many degrees we've studied our way through, how many Instagram and Twitter followers we've worked hard to amass and entertain. But what can happen, if we're not careful, is that we become very successful at impressing others at the cost of our own hearts and souls. You know what? It's okay to take that weekend off. It's okay to say that you can't stay late at work today. It's okay to miss that hour at the gym. It's okay not to post on your social media account twice each day. It's okay just to order a pizza tonight. It's okay to give a polite and loving "no" to that request for your time. It's okay to just take a moment to pour into yourself so you may then pour well into those that you love. It's okay. No one is going to blame you, or judge you, or criticize you. And if they do? It's most likely because their priorities and securities are in need of a little course-correction. If you're a book-worm, "Present Over Perfect" by Shauna Niequist is an amazing read. I just finished a six-week study on it this spring, at it really challenged me to reevaluate many things about the ways I choose to spend my time and why.
So friends, I encourage you to find out what areas of your life could benefit from some motivation, and which ares are in need of some intentional relaxation. Grant yourself permission to slow down, enjoy the small things, notice and love on those precious people in your life who are so hungry for a bit of downtime with you. I think you'll be surprised to see that they don't always miss the rushing and the doing as much as they just miss having time with you, and savoring the contentedness of your rested heart. So don't be embarrassed to stay in your pajamas all day today if you feel like it. Even dare to commit to it. I'm still wearing mine...I'm five hours in, and I've gotta tell you, commitment has never felt so good.
Until next time,
Mrs. P
