it's okay to not be okay
Welcome back, friends! It's good to be writing to you again. If I haven't already said so, it truly means so much to have you checking in on the blog to enjoy my musings, ramblings, and to hear my heart on the things I'm passionate about. I feel seriously honored to have your company here! Sometimes, I wish we were just sitting down face to face instead of over a lit screen; I wish we could enjoy a warm coffee and a cozy blanket, and just talk through everything and nothing. That would be the best.
Well, as seems the pattern, a new week is upon us. And I have to be really honest with you guys -- I couldn't be more glad. Have you ever had a stretch of days that left you begging for a do-over? That was my week. Well, maybe my last couple of weeks. (Excluding, of course, my wonderful, refreshing, soul-healing trip to Ohio with one of my best friends...I'm looking at you, Bailie Porter!) From silly things like running late for work, losing important paperwork, and spilling bright yellow mustard on my favorite shirt (that WILL NOT come out), to more important things, like feeling overwhelmed and inadequate in the world of my creative projects, dropping the ball with my efforts at healthy eating, and feeling frustrated in areas of my life where I'm met with stagnation when all I want is resolution, to everything in between...it's just been a time. It seems like lately, more than ever, the Enemy is digging into all of my most vulnerable and sensitive parts...that’s just his style, isn't it? To find the spots where we're weak and hit them hard? Feeding us lies that cloud our minds and our judgement, and put a grimy lens over the glasses through which we view life and our circumstances...and even ourselves.
But as I've touched on before (and I'll probably touch on again), we exist in an age and a culture that puts a hefty value on showing our best face; on seeming okay when you're not feeling okay. Hustling. Grinding. Not letting them see you sweat. To a certain extent, there's something to be said about having the ability to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, as it were. Not every molehill is a mountain, and I definitely think that some days just call for reaching into the back of your drawer, pulling out the Big Girl Underwear, hiking them up, and getting life done. But sometimes, when it seems like blow after blow keep rolling in, or life has dealt you a hand that seems too heavy to carry, it may be time to just admit that, well, you're simply not okay. And that's okay.
So when things do get heavy, and we muster up the courage to admit it's been a doozy, where do we go from there? What's our game plan? Even though it's okay not to be okay all the time, that doesn't mean that we have to stay where we are. We've all heard it said that while you can't always choose what the world throws at you, you can most definitely choose your response. So today, I thought I'd share some simple tips and practices that have and continue to serve me well in the low-points and valleys. You know, just in case I'm not the only one out there who's ever had times like this. ;)
+ Pray and Praise
It may sound simple, and especially if you're someone who's grown up deeply rooted in religious faith, this may seem like a total "duh" point. But it's so counter-intuitive to our human nature! I don't know about you, but my first instinct when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders isn't always to ask for help or reach out. Sometimes I just want to wallow in my own self pity and throw myself a wee little party. Just me? Mmhmm. It feels really good in the moment, but not so helpful in the long-run.
As a Christ-follower, the closer I get to the Lord and the more time I spend developing my relationship with Him, the more I find that it becomes my gut-reaction to lean on Him when I'm feeling like I don't have what it takes to press on. When you realize how big He is, and how small we are, it puts so much into perspective, and it only seems right to cry out in prayer and put myself under His lordship as my Heavenly Father who hears and cares for me. I've always loved the verse from the Psalms that says, "...when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the Rock that is higher than I." He holds every tear that you have ever cried. He cares intimately about your heart, your soul, and your mind. And there is no greater release than coming to Him in prayer in the moments when you need Him the most. So this will always be my first step in moments of hurt, anger, confusion, stress, depression, anxiety, and grief. Because He has never let me down.
The next step may seem even more counter-intuitive than the first, though -- to praise. What happens when you praise the Lord in the middle of a hard time is that you begin to be reminded of all that there is to smile about. All that is still good and right with the world. All of the gifts you've been given. Every joy that you are still able to hold dear. I'm majorly guilty (more often than I'd like to admit) of holding onto one frustration in the middle of a field of a hundred blessings. This isn't to say that your hurt isn't real or doesn't matter. If it matters to you, then it matters. But praising just has this awesomely designed way of putting everything back into perspective for us. So you'll just have to trust me and give it a try next time...I don't think you'll be disappointed.
+ Just Go
Go. Go anywhere. Go across the country. Go next door. It's a wonderful balm. When I'm in a rut, one of my favorite things to do is to shake my routine up and escape. Sometimes moving yourself physically has this awesome way of moving you to a healthier place mentally. To leave your worries behind, even if it's just for a day. To shake the dust off your feet and let your heart and mind breathe again. Maybe you just need to take a drive up the coast or into the mountains. It could be as simple as a walk through the woods in your own back yard. Maybe you want to take a spouse or best friend and get away for the weekend, or maybe you just want to retreat in solitude to somewhere that feels relaxing and safe. Take a book and a blanket; take coffee and your headphones + that new favorite song you like. Unwind and feel the freedom in an adventure. Stargaze. Take a dip. Run a few miles and sweat it out. Grab a giant bucket of popcorn and that Blue Raspberry Icee you love when no one else is watching (read: judging), and steal away to watch that new movie you've been dying to see. You know you want to. Buttery, frozen, cinematic heaven, my friend. Whatever it may be for you, change your scenery! It will almost always put a little fresh wind in your sails and help bring some clarity to whatever you're thinking or feeling.
+ Pay it Forward
This may be my favorite idea to actually flesh out. Paying it forward and making someone else's day is a 100%, money-on-the-table, guaranteed way to lift your spirit and turn your heavy heart around. Bringing joy to someone else will almost always produce just as much joy, if not more, in you. I truly believe that God designed it that way. In a world that, some days, seems to be crumbling all around us before our very eyes, it helps us to remember and believe that there is still some good in the world, and people do still truly love one another. Maybe you want to bring your husband or wife their favorite drink at work. Or buy your friend that pair of shoes you know they've been dying for, but can't afford. You can write a little just-because note of encouragemnet for that one coworker that never gets invited the fun stuff with everyone else. Or slip a sweet treat inside your little one's lunch box to surprise them and make them feel special. If you're feeling particularly optimistic, you can do something even bigger. Handing a hot meal and a new change of clothes to someone you see asking for money on the street. Volunteering to drive senior citizens to the doctor's appointments that they won't be able to make unless someone steps in to help. Hey, even bringing a big basket full of toys and treats to all the sweet pups and kittens at the local shelter to brighten their day. Whatever it may be for you; whatever touches your heart, big or small, just do it. Whoever needs your love, friendship, or helping hand the most, just give it to them freely. Because when you do, it's one of the most fulfilling and exhilarating feelings money can't buy.
Well, there we have it. These are just a few, simple first steps to turning your bad week, or weeks, back around again...and I know there are a million things more that we could add to this list. I'd love to hear from you if you have any ideas; what's your favorite way to cope when things with you aren't okay? It probably goes without saying, but talking things over with someone you trust (when you feel ready) when life gets hard is always a winning tactic, too. And if that's you, and you don't know who to talk to, may I step in and make a now-and-forever offer? I would love to be that person for you. We're all trying to hold on to this spinning ball and make it through this life together, and it can seem impossible to do that when it feels like you're all alone. You can reach out to me, any day, any hour, any place, if there's anything I can do to help you with what you're going through. So here's to a new week, and hoping that things turn around after my few weeks of nonsense...I have a feeling they will. Especially if I take my own advice and indulge in that Icee we discussed. BRB. **whizzes out the door and promptly down to the nearest 7-Eleven.**
Until next time,
Mrs. P
